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Where is home?

With the onset of summer, many people are going back home to their families, whether it is to stay for the entire summer or just temporarily for a visit. All of this reminds me of the fact that I've always been in Berkeley every summer, whether it is for summer school, research, or this time MCAT. Although I tell everyone that I'm from Davis, I feel like I've slowly lost connection with the small college town known for its bikes and cows. I've lost connection with the high school friends who still live there or who still visits Davis during breaks. The friends that made my senior year of high school ever so memorable, the friends that I grew so close to during those years are all starting to grow apart, and everyone now has their own lives, futures, and their own little world that I am no longer a part of. As I see people that I once cared about drift away from me, I fear the same thing is going to happen to my college friends. What will happen once we all graduate and go on our separate ways? We only have one year left. Will we still keep in touch? Will you invite me to your wedding and I invite you to mine? Will somehow our lives join and we end up on the same path? Will distance be a factor? It seems that there is a sense of detachment even with people I live with and see every single day. So then I ask, what is the basis of our friendship? What is the foundation? You asked me that once. Was our friendship based on because we have a lot of things in common? Liked the same music? style? have the same type of personality and humor? Have a lot of fun together? But shouldn't there be something more to that? Something that is more solid and strong besides just commonality? We share lots of things with many different people, but what sets one friend apart from another? You then said that a strong common faith in God is the foundation of a friendship. Faith in God...well, it seems like I don't have that anymore...so then, what is it? What keeps people together?

I fear loosing the people that I care about. I fear ending up alone. These are my greatest fears. But I realize that loosing people becomes an inevitable part of life, and it is something we all have to accept and deal with. You may lose a friend, but you can also gain another.

The only thing that still keeps Davis somewhat significant is the fact that my mom and my sister still live there. But even that, it is still not a home to me. Once my mom and sister move out of Davis, the town will probably just become a town that I'll pass by once in awhile, a town that I lived in for two years, a town where I made some awesome friends but also lost some awesome friends. A place of happiness as well as many regrets. I feel like it is time to detach this sense of home with where my family is. I can no longer associate home with where my parents are. I will eventually have to start find and build my own niche and call it a home.