Dot Dot Dot

Hypocrisy...
Say whatever you want about what you don't like in other people. To me, you are just like them. We are all hypocrites to some extent.

Facade...
Inevitable sense of insecurity that is trying to be covered up by a false sense of security. Who do you rather be?

Game...
Why does it have to be a game? Or does it even need to be a game? Why do we describe certain people as having game and others as having no game. Who came up with this shit? Some people know how to play this game so well; they know exactly what to say and what to do to get what they want. Do I have to play this game?

Scatterbrain

-August 6th is approaching soon. I took a in class diagnostic test today and i scored a 50% in verbal. I did not have time to do 2 of the passages, so I randomly guessed. FUCKKK
-From now on, I need to eat faster, sleep less, talk faster, go to the bathroom faster, take faster showers, walk faster, exercise faster, just fuckin do everything at 2x speed. Once July hits, its MCAT everytime all the time.
-I need to step up my game a notch.
-omgomgomgomg I am so excited about all the shows coming up. Wilco, Deathcab for Cutie, and Tortoise. WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I can drool from all this excitement. *does little dance*
-A friend told me today that he was watching porn and saw a girl that looked like me. He made such connection and felt weird. ROFFLEWAFFLE

-We always say that we can't change other people, and that we can only change ourselves, but it is so hard to do that sometimes. We are so use to the way we do things, how we always think that we are right, that we know what is best for us. I feel like I have been given so many second chances in life to do things right the second time, yet somehow I still screw it up. I really need to make a conscious effort to change my attitude, or else there could be a very good chance that I'll crash and burn once AGAIN. I really don't want that.

Deja Vu

So different this time. Different circumstance, different scene, different crowd, different personality, different history, different story. Yet, it seems uncannily familiar.

Weighed Down

I feel so weighed down ever since the start of summer from all this MCAT studying. During the weekdays I find myself secluded in the library or in the classroom studying all day long. I have not really been able to go out and meet up with people that I haven't seen in awhile. I feel so beaten down that when I do meet up with people, I feel like I have lost my energy, my momentum, my zest for life. Everything becomes so blahhhhh

The only thing I look forward to is the weekend.

Sex

Yeah, that's right. Did I catch your attention?
Why should I have to be placed in awkward and uncomfortable situations when it comes to dealing with you and your boyfriend?
Why do I have to put up with noises I don't want to hear when I am trying to study, or trying to eat, or trying to do anything as a matter of fact.
Why should I be the one to blast music so that I can cover up the noise. Shouldn't you be the one trying to cover up the noise? Why me? I'm not the one having sex.
Why should I be woken up at 4 o'clock in the morning by the sound of "activities" in your room and then me having to stuff my head in my pillow so that I can go back to sleep.

why why why. I am just trying to get some fuckin sleep in my own fuckin apartment.

Don't know what to say

"Just don't think about it," you would say.
But how can I not think about it. We are human beings, we are made to think. It is what distinguishes us from other living creatures. We think until our head explodes, until we lose complete spontaneity and impulse, until we get sick and tired of our own thoughts, until it defines our every action and every word. I don't want to get lost in my own thoughts. I don't want to be controlled by my restless mind. I don't want to lose my spontaneity. Don't we all deserve a fresh start, a clean slate? Your life as I know it begins the moment we meet. Haven't I learned that lesson already? Yes, I have.

I just want to listen to music and dance all day long.

Funny

HAHAHA I find this amusing.
From The Onion

But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them

By Kimberly Pruitt
June 9, 2009 | Issue 45•24

I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don't really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don't you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We're so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn't want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once—would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I've got going here.

It's just…you're like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you've spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don't have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I'd call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn't answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don't even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I've known you so long, you're more like a brother that I've drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It'd be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you'd come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I've had a bad day at work, you'd be looking at me like, "I've seen her breasts." God, I can't think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I'd be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don't see how much it crushes you. Let's never lose that. That's what makes us us.

Don't worry. You're so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You'll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I'll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won't believe it when you say we're just friends. But when she dumps you, that's just what we'll be.

Best friends. Friends forever.

Hopless Romantic

Three years ago, I was headstrong, independent, focused. I pushed love aside like love was only for the weak, vulnerable, and the naive. I was too good to love and to be loved. I hated cheesy movies and romantic novels, I still do, but more or less, I've come to realize that my attitude was nothing more than a facade, it was a way for me to justify a void I felt in my life. I was headstrong because I could not be vulnerable in front of others, I was ignorant because I could not deal with my own emotions. I was on such a path when I came to college, and then you came along and led me astray. When it was over, I was such a mess. I've been changed, and things have never been the same. Then more and more wonderful people came into my life. My experiences with them, the good and the bad, have only changed me for the good. Maybe it's true, after all of these experiences and as I sit here and contemplate in my solitude, that I have become a hopeless romantic. Since when did the tiny little things make me go soft in my knees? Your jacket, a piece of your sandwich, a toothy grin, a laugh at my stupid jokes, the necklace you made, our fingers interlocking on the dance floor. When did these meaningless things become meaningful. Or were they even meaningless to begin with? Maybe they did have meaning once upon a time. Since when did I become willing to stand outside bare and naked and vulnerable for you and for the many other "you's" to come. I stand here before you, I just hope and pray that you won't break me into pieces.

Maybe, just maybe, I can be a hopeless romantic who is not so hopeless?

hahahaha I laugh at myself, and I laugh at you.