I went to see Death Cab for Cutie last night, one of my favorite bands of all times, yet it was probably one of the worst concert experience I've ever had. I smoked weed for the first time a couple of months ago, and surprisingly I really liked the experience. I was with a friend I could trust, we were both just chillin at his apartment, and we were just done with finals. It was such a relaxing time, what can I say, it was pretty awesome. Last night, the second time, that was really something else.....
I smoked before the concert, and during the concert, I smoked out of a joint that was being passed around from a stranger.... That was probably not a smart thing to do. It was probably just way too much weed in one day.
My head was spinning the entire time. Whatever I said made no sense. I had trouble formulating my thoughts and my sentences. Whatever other people said made no sense. I had the attention span of an ant. I couldn't understand anything, and so I stopped talking. My mouth started getting really dry, and my saliva was foamy and disgusting. I was surrounded by strangers at the concert, and I started to feel very paranoid. I thought I was going to pass out from dehydration, and having to stand for three hours, I thought I was going to fall over, no one would be there to catch me, and crack open my skull. When Death Cab finally came on, I could not focus on the performance. The entire time my eyes were fixated on the little sign outside that said "first aid station." All I thought about was the first aid station and picturing myself lying on one of those skinny white clinic beds with 1000 bottles of Gatorade, oh how much I wanted that fuckin Gatorade. I saw this guy in front of me drinking this cold bottle of water. I knew it was cold because it was foggy from the condensation. I just watched him...drinking that water one sip at a time. I counted how many bottles he drank. He drank TWO bottles. In my head, I thought maybe I could ask him if I could have some water, but I didn't, I just watched him, one sip at a time. By that time, my throat was parched. I thought about leaving to get water, but I knew if I left, I wouldn't be able to make it back inside. I couldn't stand my thrist anymore, so I asked the guy who passed me the joint if he had any water, and oh my god he did. I took a sip of the water, and before I swallowed it, for a second I freaked out because I thought it was vodka, but fortunately, it wasn't. It was actually water. That couple of gulps of water saved me for maybe...10 seconds, and then I was thirsty again. DAMN
The high also made the music very very intense. In a good way and in a bad way. I dont know. The lighting felt so freaking insane. Death Cab had this crazy back drop where they had those weird lighting swirls and squiggles moving around flashing, and I seriously thought I was going to get blinded by all of that and have a seizure. The sound was also very intense. It literally made my ears throb.
I don't know, it was all just so amazing, and so crazy, yet so shitty. I don't know. I felt so shitty after the show I can't even describe it. It was a mix of insecurity, self-consciousness, awkwardness, weirdness, paranoia, annoyance, and all sorts of other negative feelings. It really made me feel like crap. I've never felt so bad in my life. I am still trying to get over this massive headache that I woke up with.
This is so not like me. What the hell happened? I feel so stupid.
No comments:
Post a Comment