Keeping up

I've realized that it is hard to have my blog keep up with my thoughts. Way too many thoughts pass through my head each day, and there is no way I can keep a detail blog of it. I do want to get them down on paper though, its a way for me to clear them out of my mind. So I'm going to keep this simple, and just let my mind speak...

I am totally in love with Electronica. My taste in music has always been changing as I mature and explore, its been a journey. I know that I can be very picky when it comes to music, but I think I've definitely become more open. I feel like I've gone through a musical revelation in the past few months. Just within the category of Electronica, there is so much diversity, from minmalism to brain popping electronic beats. Its absolutely AMAZING. There is stuff that is so beautiful that it makes me want to lift up my arms and scream YEEEHHHH. There is stuff that is so fun that it makes me wanna dance my heart out. Now if only I can make my own music. I have a keyboard, but I can't play anything on it. I have an electric guitar, but I can't play anything on it. Its my fault for being a lazy ass. I wish my parents spanked me with chopsticks when I was little for not going to piano school. I wish they pushed me harder.
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party hoppin
shots poppin
I think I am absolutely crazy sometimes
yet, I've never felt so alive
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Amazingly, I've been keeping up with my New Year resolutions.
I've gone through some of the toughest times in my life in the past few months, and I feel like I finally know who my real friends are. They are the ones that always make time for me in their busy schedules even when I don't make time in mine for them. They are the ones that give without ever expecting a return. They are not the ones that only offer nice gestures, but actually act upon them. They are the ones that know to push me and knock on my door even after I've closed my door on them. Thank you for the endless hours of verbal diahrea by the side of the curb. Thank you for chugging those quarts of ice cream with me. Thank you for sitting there and listen to me ramble for hours. Thank you for making me laugh like I've never before. Thank you for always calling me to check up on me, even when I never pick up the phone. Thank you for being a stupid high school drama queen with me. Most importantly, thank you for always having me in your life even when sometimes I wasn't such a great of a friend. I've made some amazing friends this past year. I've broke down my walls, shared so much, listened so much. It is this stream of dialogue, stream of thoughts, that bring people closer together and onto another level. Never again will I rely my happiness and sanity on ONE person. I am going to cherish and embrace everybody that I have in my life right now. I love you all.
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I am going to move into a different apartment next year with some different friends. I'm going to be bringing some CRAZZIESS and fun in DA HOUSE. Strobe lights, black lights, my sick ass JBL creature. Oh yeahh, aren't you excited? I sure am!
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Let it go. I've told you that I've moved on. Believe me. I am over it. I am just curious thats all. So stop bringing it up. Stop reminding me by writing it all over my arm. It only pulls me back, and I want to move forward. Sure there is always a possibility for something better. But I am not going to sit here and wait and worry about it. If our lives meet again in the future, then so be it. But let it go.
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It has become so much easier to talk to my parents now. I feel like we almost reached the level of friendship. Its kinda cool. We even joke around now. I think they like my humor. I make them laugh. Its great. I love my parents.
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bottom line. Life is so fuckin awesome right now.

Cheese

I was walking out on Telegraph today on my way to the bank, and I stopped at the red light at the intersection of Durant and Telegraph. As I stood there waiting for the signal to walk, I overheard these three people talking.
"So what made you become premed?"
"Well it was because of my back injury. I was in so much pain, and I realized that it is the amazingness of my body giving me my back pain. I was just amazed at how the body works, and also how the doctors were able to fix my back problem and completely change my life."
The guy said all of this with a great big smile showing his perfectly white teeth, there was almost a tone of arrogance in his voice. Listening to this tall white guy with blond hair, his light blue Abercrombie shirt with its collars popped, khaki shorts, and Birkenstocks, I felt a great sense of CHEESE and it really annoyed the hell out of me. Okay, I know I'm being very judgemental here, this guy has every right to say whatever he wants, but I don't know why, I am just so annoyed. Maybe I'm just annoyed and jealous because this guy knows why he wants to become a doctor, yet I am sitting here and I have no good reason for why I want to be a doctor. Actually, I do have a reason, but I can't formulate this all out and get the idea wrapped around my head. Everything seems so disconnected and all over the place.

I am going to Guatemala this summer to help build a health clinic. I am SOOOO EXCITED!! I'm hoping that working in a developing country and actually witnessing the challenges and hardships first hand will open my eyes. Maybe for once, I'll find a reason to fight for.

Nature

I went hiking yesterday at Tilden Park with a friend. I'm usually not too fascinated by nature. I am not a big fan of taking pictures of scenery, and not particularly fond of learning about the fauna and flora. Yet, yesterday I found the hike to be quite exhilarating. My friend and I hiked for miles at a time where we would be the only ones on the trail, not a sign of other people or anything else manmade. Sometimes we would be walking in complete silence, taking in the sound of each crunch against the fallen crispy tree bark, the smell of mushy decay in the mud, the small buzz of insects flying around, until
"God, I can't believe I got 24 pts below average"
"omgg, its okay, I got below average too. Soooo baddd"
FUCKK, it just seems like we are always so consumed by our grades on ONE test, in ONE class. It seems like such a small and menial part of our lives, yet we place so much importance on it, and we worry and worry and worry non stop over it. In the midst of everything, our own individual lives and worries are such a microcosm of what is really out there, yet we always seem to lose sight of the big picture and develope myopia, where all we see is this ONE test, in ONE class, this ONE point that I could've gotten, but because of my stupid mistakes, I couldn't. Seriously Lisha, get a grip on yourself.

Verbal Diarrhea

I eat coffee with banana

Notes

Inbox, Deleted, Drafts, Sent, Notes, Outbox
May 23, 2007 ........................................... #1
May 24, 2007 ...........................................NUMBA 2!!!
May 26, 2007 ...........................................threeeeeeeeeeee
May 27, 2007 ...........................................44444
May 29, 2007 ...........................................high FIVE!
May 31, 2007 ...........................................sexy six
Jun 1, 2007 .............................................. se7en
Jun 3, 2007............................................... ei8hteehee :D
Jun 7, 2007 ...............................................n.i.n.e
Jun 12, 2007 ............................................10!@#$%^&*()
Jun 18, 2007 ............................................ ELEVIN! AGAIN!
Aug 2, 2007 ..............................................My novel about us ;D

Select All, Delete forever