There is a point where you just don't want to try anymore. A point that you come across where you just want to give up. A point where you are tired of screaming above everyone else trying to be heard. A point where you are tired of opening up to people who just come and go. A point where you look at the past, and realize how much of a waste it all was. A point where you are just tired of trying to put back the pieces that are not worth piecing together. A point where you accept reality and become okay with it. A point where you realize that no one is going to care, and you should therefore stop caring. A point where you are sick of this precarious walk where you are still trying to figure out where you stand, what your place is, and what your role is in your own life but also in other people's life. Is there any significance at all? This is the point where you shut that open book. This is the point where you become silent.
I can't wait to go home, where everything is all taken care of, where everything is so much more simple. Even if it is just for a little while.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Hello hello. It was another sunday for another photoshoot. The location was going to be the Berkeley Marina, but we missed the bus and got there kind of late. So we only had maybe 1 hr where there was actually enough light. This one guy was taking pictures of his kids, and he kept on yelling, "every second we waste, I am loosing precious light!!" I guess that pretty much sums up the shoot. lol
I had a lot of photos that I really liked, and I thought I would be able to fix the lighting later during post processing, but it really didn't work out. They were unworkable!!! I guess it's kind of hard to put details back into something that wasn't able to be captured in the first place. Ahhh, start early next time!!
Oh another thing, so I was going on to the BARE magazine website today, trying to find out when the next issue is going to come out, and then BAM the picture right on the front page of the website was MY PICTURE! hahaha, it was totally unexpected and kind of exciting!! Check it out!
http://www.baremagazine.org/index.html
I had a lot of photos that I really liked, and I thought I would be able to fix the lighting later during post processing, but it really didn't work out. They were unworkable!!! I guess it's kind of hard to put details back into something that wasn't able to be captured in the first place. Ahhh, start early next time!!
Oh another thing, so I was going on to the BARE magazine website today, trying to find out when the next issue is going to come out, and then BAM the picture right on the front page of the website was MY PICTURE! hahaha, it was totally unexpected and kind of exciting!! Check it out!
http://www.baremagazine.org/index.html
Thursday, November 12, 2009
China Fashion Week
There is no reason why China can't also be the fashion nation of the world. Maybe the world is just not ready for it. By looking at some of the designs from China's Fashion Week, it seems like the designers are more focused on the artistic and creative aspect of fashion rather than practicality and wearability. Now nothing wrong with that right? Seems like Chinese designers are very conceptual, and they are not afraid to go all out with their ideas, no matter how crazy it is...check it out!
Doesn't this look kinda wrong? lol....
Iono about this one...looks kinky.....
Darth Vader?
This is actually quite beautiful
Yeah, sure some of these pieces are crazy, but I mean a fashion show is kinda like a moving art display. I think some of those sculptural pieces are pretty dope. That's just my opinion.
Doesn't this look kinda wrong? lol....
Iono about this one...looks kinky.....
Darth Vader?
This is actually quite beautiful
Yeah, sure some of these pieces are crazy, but I mean a fashion show is kinda like a moving art display. I think some of those sculptural pieces are pretty dope. That's just my opinion.
upgrade?
As I get more and more into photography, I feel like my camera is not giving me what I want out of each picture. It is not sharp enough, not fast enough, not vivid enough, etc. I feel like its dragging me and slowing me down. I started photography with a Sony alpha A200, my first DSLR, and it's my baby. It has served me well for a long time, but maybe it's time to start investing in a new camera, a higher end one. Man..photography is such an expensive hobby.
Canon EOS 5D Mark II or the equivalent Sony Alpha A900?
Everyone has a Canon, kind of makes me not want to jump on the bandwagon, and I feel like I'm kind of attached to Sony's now. Both are full frame cameras with over 20 MP. They would both literally run my computer to the ground.
Canon EOS 5D Mark II or the equivalent Sony Alpha A900?
Everyone has a Canon, kind of makes me not want to jump on the bandwagon, and I feel like I'm kind of attached to Sony's now. Both are full frame cameras with over 20 MP. They would both literally run my computer to the ground.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Education and TFA, a critical perspective
So I was talking to this friend of mine today about Teach for America and the America's education system. I was so inspired by his ideas and our conversation that I feel like I MUST do a post on this. As I mentioned before, I applied for Teach for America, and I am currently in the application process. The reason why I applied is because I am so passionate about TFA's philosophy. I believe in their mission to bring quality education to every kid in this country, regardless of where they are from, where they live, and what their socioeconomic status is. The mission is to break the cycle of inequality and poverty.
I know people who were or are currently in TFA, some loved it, and some hated it. The people who hated it is mainly because of how the program is runned, a lot of administrative stuff, but also because the people who are in it. At first, I didn't really care so much about that. The administrative stuff, I don't care about, what I care about is TFA's philosophy, and that is all that matters. If I am in TFA, I would be out there teaching math or science to kids who needed it the most, and really giving them a chance at success in life. That is my vision, that is my only vision. And I've come to realize that vision is oh so shortsighted.
After my conversation with my friend, he helped me realize a lot of flaws within TFA. I think I was so enamoured with the program, that I never really thought about it critically. The problem is so obvious, now that he pointed it out to me! TFA recruits rigorously at some of the best universites in the U.S., Ivy Leagues, UC's. Any top school you name, TFA has probably been there giving their little speech before class. If you listen carefully to their messages though, you'll realize that they keep on saying how TFA corps members have gone on to become strong leaders in healthcare, legal work, administration, government, etc. Never do they say corps members continuing in education and becoming long term teachers. So implicity, TFA is endorsing the message that teaching itself is not a viable or impactful long term career, but it is important for future doctors, lawyers, or politicians to understand the issue of inequality that is so pervasive in every field and every profession. Now that I think about it, I guess TFA's marketing strategy is a smart one, though not necessarily the right one. It would be complete suicide to go to an Ivy League school and try to get their graduates to become teachers working at some 30K salary. You really think someone who graduated from Harvard is going to devote the rest of his or her life to teaching inner city kids when he or she can bank over 100K becoming a lawyer, doctor, or a politician? And so TFA's marketing strategy is to say, "look, we know you want to become a doctor, a lawyer, a politician, and we are going to help you achieve that, if you come and teach with TFA for 2 years. It'll look great on your resume. You'll get what you want to achieve, and we'll get what we want. It's a win-win situation." Now that looks a lot appealing to an Ivy League graduate doesn't it?
So now here is the thing. Is it really TFA's fault for doing this? Or is there something wrong with our society and how the society perceive teaching as a profession. Why is it that TFA has to resort to this type of marketing strategy?? It's a cycle. Most people who graduate from top schools do not even consider teaching as a profession. #1, the pay is shitty. #2, there is not a lot of respect for teachers out there. So bascially nobody who graduates from a top school want to go into teaching, and so the quality of teaching goes down, America's education system crumples, less and less people going and getting into top schools, top schools quality goes down, everything falls apart, and we reach madness and chaos. Apocalypse.
It is a visious cycle. Isn't education sooooo important? Education is fundamental to everything else. If it wasn't for education, we wouldn't be sitting here doing our homework and going to class. We wouldn't be dreaming these dreams of becoming somebody great. We wouldn't be where we are right now. Hell, we wouldn't even be having this conversation or any intellectual conversation as a matter of fact if we weren't educated. And so, do you see the importance of education? And how can we even tackle the issue of global poverty if we are not educated, and if the rest of the world isn't educated. Do you see? So what do we do in our situation? So what does TFA do? I feel like TFA has no choice but do what it does to get high quality teachers. They know no one is going to want to teach long term, so they get them to teach for 2 years and offer them something in return. This is not the right strategy, but with our society right now, it is how it is, and it is fuckin sad.
My friend offers an alternative. I think it is very interesting.
He says that TFA should take its massive marketing strategy and volunteer force and turn it towards positive marketing for teaching as a profession, and enhancing teacher pay for potentially entry level teachers. Add a 10K or so to their salaries, making teaching a more attractive choice. As with gaining prestige and respect, first of all, I think its kind of messed up that teachers have to FIGHT to gain respect and prestige, considering how important they are to the fundamental well being of an individual as well as the entire country. Anyways, thats besides the point. There are many ways to create prestige, we can attach titles, make programs, scholarships, whatever, something.
So yeah, I thought my conversation with my friend was very insightful and very inspiring. As much as I agree with his anti-TFA sentiment, I don't think it is going to change my mind in the end. I still want to join TFA. I know that at the end of the day, my goal and dream is to become a doctor, and yeah, maybe you'll say that I am simplying using TFA as a stepping stone and a resume builder, but my passion for teaching and working with those kids are real. My motives are real. I love to teach, but I also love the sciences, the human body, and life. Why can't I have it all? Here is the kicker. If you look up the definition of a doctor in the dictionary, it says teacher. hahah funny huh? I think I found my match no?
I know people who were or are currently in TFA, some loved it, and some hated it. The people who hated it is mainly because of how the program is runned, a lot of administrative stuff, but also because the people who are in it. At first, I didn't really care so much about that. The administrative stuff, I don't care about, what I care about is TFA's philosophy, and that is all that matters. If I am in TFA, I would be out there teaching math or science to kids who needed it the most, and really giving them a chance at success in life. That is my vision, that is my only vision. And I've come to realize that vision is oh so shortsighted.
After my conversation with my friend, he helped me realize a lot of flaws within TFA. I think I was so enamoured with the program, that I never really thought about it critically. The problem is so obvious, now that he pointed it out to me! TFA recruits rigorously at some of the best universites in the U.S., Ivy Leagues, UC's. Any top school you name, TFA has probably been there giving their little speech before class. If you listen carefully to their messages though, you'll realize that they keep on saying how TFA corps members have gone on to become strong leaders in healthcare, legal work, administration, government, etc. Never do they say corps members continuing in education and becoming long term teachers. So implicity, TFA is endorsing the message that teaching itself is not a viable or impactful long term career, but it is important for future doctors, lawyers, or politicians to understand the issue of inequality that is so pervasive in every field and every profession. Now that I think about it, I guess TFA's marketing strategy is a smart one, though not necessarily the right one. It would be complete suicide to go to an Ivy League school and try to get their graduates to become teachers working at some 30K salary. You really think someone who graduated from Harvard is going to devote the rest of his or her life to teaching inner city kids when he or she can bank over 100K becoming a lawyer, doctor, or a politician? And so TFA's marketing strategy is to say, "look, we know you want to become a doctor, a lawyer, a politician, and we are going to help you achieve that, if you come and teach with TFA for 2 years. It'll look great on your resume. You'll get what you want to achieve, and we'll get what we want. It's a win-win situation." Now that looks a lot appealing to an Ivy League graduate doesn't it?
So now here is the thing. Is it really TFA's fault for doing this? Or is there something wrong with our society and how the society perceive teaching as a profession. Why is it that TFA has to resort to this type of marketing strategy?? It's a cycle. Most people who graduate from top schools do not even consider teaching as a profession. #1, the pay is shitty. #2, there is not a lot of respect for teachers out there. So bascially nobody who graduates from a top school want to go into teaching, and so the quality of teaching goes down, America's education system crumples, less and less people going and getting into top schools, top schools quality goes down, everything falls apart, and we reach madness and chaos. Apocalypse.
It is a visious cycle. Isn't education sooooo important? Education is fundamental to everything else. If it wasn't for education, we wouldn't be sitting here doing our homework and going to class. We wouldn't be dreaming these dreams of becoming somebody great. We wouldn't be where we are right now. Hell, we wouldn't even be having this conversation or any intellectual conversation as a matter of fact if we weren't educated. And so, do you see the importance of education? And how can we even tackle the issue of global poverty if we are not educated, and if the rest of the world isn't educated. Do you see? So what do we do in our situation? So what does TFA do? I feel like TFA has no choice but do what it does to get high quality teachers. They know no one is going to want to teach long term, so they get them to teach for 2 years and offer them something in return. This is not the right strategy, but with our society right now, it is how it is, and it is fuckin sad.
My friend offers an alternative. I think it is very interesting.
He says that TFA should take its massive marketing strategy and volunteer force and turn it towards positive marketing for teaching as a profession, and enhancing teacher pay for potentially entry level teachers. Add a 10K or so to their salaries, making teaching a more attractive choice. As with gaining prestige and respect, first of all, I think its kind of messed up that teachers have to FIGHT to gain respect and prestige, considering how important they are to the fundamental well being of an individual as well as the entire country. Anyways, thats besides the point. There are many ways to create prestige, we can attach titles, make programs, scholarships, whatever, something.
So yeah, I thought my conversation with my friend was very insightful and very inspiring. As much as I agree with his anti-TFA sentiment, I don't think it is going to change my mind in the end. I still want to join TFA. I know that at the end of the day, my goal and dream is to become a doctor, and yeah, maybe you'll say that I am simplying using TFA as a stepping stone and a resume builder, but my passion for teaching and working with those kids are real. My motives are real. I love to teach, but I also love the sciences, the human body, and life. Why can't I have it all? Here is the kicker. If you look up the definition of a doctor in the dictionary, it says teacher. hahah funny huh? I think I found my match no?
Thursday, November 5, 2009
10 things I hate about pre-meds
1) person A took class X before person B. Person B asks person A for his/her old tests and notes, person A lies and says he/she doesn't have them anymore.
2) I was in the library one day studying for a midterm. I saw this girl next to me studying for the same midterm, but I saw she had a copy of a midterm from the previous year. I asked her where she got it, she wouldn't tell me.
3) Person A and person B finds the same research/job/whatever opportunity, person A tells person B that he/she is not going to apply, but then secretly applies.
4) Listing your some 50 work/volunteer/research experience on facebook, complete with project details about how you are saving the world one cancer cell at a time.
Okay, I lied, I can't find 10 things to write about. Well I guess it's a competitive world out there, and everyone is willing to do anything to get ahead. I just thought this was funny.
2) I was in the library one day studying for a midterm. I saw this girl next to me studying for the same midterm, but I saw she had a copy of a midterm from the previous year. I asked her where she got it, she wouldn't tell me.
3) Person A and person B finds the same research/job/whatever opportunity, person A tells person B that he/she is not going to apply, but then secretly applies.
4) Listing your some 50 work/volunteer/research experience on facebook, complete with project details about how you are saving the world one cancer cell at a time.
Okay, I lied, I can't find 10 things to write about. Well I guess it's a competitive world out there, and everyone is willing to do anything to get ahead. I just thought this was funny.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Lets skip step II and go to step III
So...I was waiting to hear back from Teach for America today, to see if I got invited to a phone interview. When I opened my e-mail, they said they wanted me to skip the phone interview and go straight ahead to the in person interview!! OHH SHITTT....Looks like this is for real now! I am actually very nervous when it comes to interviews. I feel like I am much more eloquent in writing than in speaking. I've been to so many interviews, and so many failures....Sometimes there are so many things I want to say in an interview, but then I always forget during the interview, and then I remember them afterwards. Let's hope that won't happen this time around.
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